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Developing confidence through internal validation
I have spoken a lot about the importance of being internally validated. In fact, a large part of what I cover in my flagship course deals with exactly this issue.
I am really grateful to finally be at a point where I feel I have this down pat, but it was a process.
It all started in the seventh grade, with a boy in my class who called me ugly… almost everyday.
One day I came home crying about it because I had had enough.
I found my dad, and started sobbing even harder. I was in the mood to be pampered, LOL.
“What’s wrong?” He looked at me concerned.
I sputtered between tearful breaths, “Someone at school called me ugly. He calls me ugly almost every day.”
“That’s why you’re crying?” My dad looked intently at me. “Are you ugly?
I was shocked…is he really asking me that? I just stood there sniffling.
He asked again, “I want you to answer me, are you ugly?
I thought about it for a second, and thinking back I realize—that was the first time I ever stopped to answer that question for myself.
I hadn’t decided how I felt about how I looked until that moment. And because I hadn’t decided, I was very vulnerable and sensitive to the opinions of others on the topic.
In a barely audible tone, I said, “…No?”
He just looked at me, expectantly.
I answered again, more confidently this time. “No.” There. It’s decided.
In his deep voice, my dad said, “You have the final say on who and what you are. Never give that power to anyone else.”
After that conversation, I developed an after school ritual: I would stand in front of the mirror and star at my reflection. I started to fall in love with the person I saw looking back at me.
I saw my father’s cheekbones. My mother’s eyes. My grandmothers mysterious charm.
And you know what? When I came back for eighth grade, all anyone could talk about was how beautiful I am.
To this day, everywhere I go, strangers come up to me and say things like—
“I just had to come up to you and tell you, you are incredibly striking.”
“You’re soooo beautiful.”
“You’re the prettiest person I have ever seen up close.”
Now, some will read that and say that I am bragging. But I am not. They will think that anyway because most people are not used to women who know exactly who and what they are…and aren’t afraid to boldly say it.
Deep down, I have always believed that this shit happened because one random afternoon, with tears in my eyes, I looked in the mirror and DECIDED.
“I am beautiful.”
And because I decided, those around me had no choice but to agree.
If you are tired of being swayed by the opinions of others, and are finally ready to make some decisions of your own…then my program is for you.
A lot of people assume that Become the Prize is a dating course. That’s understandable, but BTP is SO much more than that! In fact, the first half of the course is entirely focused on healing, journaling, developing positive self talk, discovering your purpose, and become the best version of yourself.
Read what one of the women enrolled had to say:
There is still time to make 2024 the best year of your life so far!
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