Dear Fumi, I really enjoyed your “Am I Ungrateful?” video, and I wanted to ask a long standing question that I’ve had, but wasn’t able to fully articulate before. You’ve mentioned before that the men in your life were very supportive of your decision to keep your standards high, and you’ve preached that it’s better to stay single than to have a man that doesn’t treat you well. I’ve found your content really helpful and insightful as a young woman, and I’m currently in a period of singleness, since I feel that it’s the best for me right now. One thing that I personally struggle with, and I’m sure most of your other followers struggle with too, is how to truly believe that you are deserving of high standards when you’ve been constantly let down by men in the past. In my journey, I realized that I had internalized certain behavior from men, and felt that I didn’t deserve anything better than that. I come from a single parent household, and my relationship history isn’t really the best. I’ve found that rocky relationships with men can cause mental barriers in what you feel that you deserve. Do you have any tips and tricks on removing those mental barriers after being let down by the men in your life, for example fathers, uncles, brothers, or exes. Some of the things that you’ve said previously have been really helpful, such as the time you said that the past doesn’t dictate what you can choose to expect now, but do you have any other strategies or insight to share about this? I love your videos, please keep making content <3 From Miss Working on Her Mindset

Dear Funmi, Hope you are well, my question is in regards to a talking stage timeline when it is long distance. Especially, when he is in the Army. I feel like I am making excuses for him..it feels like he likes me, but he does not like me enough. and I do not want to feel that way. Thank you!

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Hi, I wanted to ask your opinion on a dating situation I had recently since I agree with and like a lot of your content. I posted in another black women uncensored group and they were basically saying I’m the problem and should be grateful he asked me out somewhere and not to his house. I admit I could’ve communicated a bit better and let me expectations be more known but do you think i was completely in the wrong for wanting concrete plans? I have screenshots you can read with this. Not sure how to attach them.

Dear Fumi, I’m a huge fan of your content and just recently enrolled in your course. I’ve been really enjoying the self-development approach to the course and am excited to continue working through it. My question for you today is: what are your thoughts on cohabitation? I recently had a friend ask for my advice on whether or not she should move in with her partner of 4 months. She says she wants to do it because they hang out daily and are “basically already living together” (her words). I’ve personally never lived with a partner before and my preference would be to wait until marriage. I’m not even religious–I just need that level of commitment before building a home/life with someone. Ultimately, my friend wanted to hear that she was doing the right thing and wasn’t super interested in learning about the effects of sliding into cohabitation. We’re also still pretty young (early to mid twenties) so I’m cautious about not rushing certain relationship milestones just to say I’ve reached them. I haven’t seen much discussion surrounding this topic so I’m curious to know your thoughts on cohabitation and how it affects the course of a relationship. Thank you for taking the time to read this question! 🙂 A 20 Something Who Doesn’t Want To Rush